Sunday, September 26, 2010

Eduard and God

Eduard and God is the story of a young man (Edward) who falls in love with ‘Alice’, a devout believer in God. He has just shifted to a small town, and finds a position at a school where the Director is a staunch communist and anti-religion. Eduard doesn’t really care much about God, but because he wishes to please his girlfriend (and in return get to have sex etc) he goes to Church with her on a regular basis. When the director comes to know of this, she summons him and asks him about it, he makes an excuse saying he had gone there to see the architecture.

Meanwhile since he is making no progress with the girl (despite him trying many theological aspects to sex), he changes the mode to offensive and becomes even more religious than her. He chastises her of not loving God enough, and while in the act of praying to a cross in the street he gets seen by the School janitor.

He gets summoned again, in front of a committee comprising of a colleague of his, the Director, the Janitor and a ‘Comrade Inspector’. They tell him that the school has strict rules about religion, and that any man believing in God is not fit to teach science to young students. Eduard quickly makes an excuse that he DOES believe in God but being a man of science he DOES NOT WANT to believe in God. He convinces the committee that he can be ‘re-educated’ (since Communists believed highly in converting one back to the fold), the Director (who already had a liking for the young man) takes charge of his re-education, of making him believe that God does not exist.

When he reaches the Director’s home, in a bid to please her he tells her that he likes her (his brother had already told him of the director’s weakness for young men), and it does please her, she touches her hand when he leaves.

Alice gets a newfound admiration for Eduard, because word had spread till then that before the committee he had chosen not to denounce God and had defied them openly. This change in attitude irritates him, and he tells her that when he would need support, she won’t be there, and in all probability if the communists run him out of town, she will leave him. This reduces her to tears and using this vulnerable moment he asks her to go to a weekend cottage with him.

On his second visit to the Director’s home, she makes several sexual passes at him, however the director being very ugly, it is hard for Eduard to ‘get it up’. He makes her kneel in front of him and pray, naked. This sight arouses him and he has sex with her.

During the weekend Alice readily gives herself to him, but he is not able to get her aroused, he elicits ‘no moans, no sounds of pleasure’, and the fact that before his so-called-crucification, there was a ‘God Antifornicator’ that did not allow her to do anything, but after it she betrayed this God easily, he felt angry. On their return to the town he broke up with her, citing this.

Later he felt stupid, that he had let such a sexy girl get away. However, he also became a successful skirt chaser himself. He wondered over all the foolishness about God, and in the end he becomes sad that God does not exist, because a lot would make more sense if God existed.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Assignment two.. 'Nostalgia'

Place: Does not matter
Day: 27/11
Time: 19:26

She is coming back. She called.. Her voice was having a natural fragrance , more pleasing and more childish.. even more than the child, crying in front of her berth...

Aah!! the last week !!! longer than life.

"Nostalgia.."

Nostalgia? How could one feel nostalgia for someone when the other was right in front of? How can you suffer from the absence of a person who is present?

I can't shake off the idea that after death you keep being alive. That to be dead is to live an endless nightmare.

This is the real and the only reason for friendship: to provide a mirror so the other person can contemplate his image from the past, which, without the eternal blah-blah of memories between pals, would long ago have disappeared.

It is always that way: between the moment he meets her again and the moment he recognizes her for the woman he loves, he has some distance to go.

How could she feel nostalgia when he was right in front of her? How can you suffer from the absence of a person who is present?

You can suffer nostalgia in the presence of the beloved if you glimpse a future where the beloved is no more.

The eye... the point where a person's identity is concentrated.

You can't measure the mutual affection of two human beings by the number of words they exchange.

Today we're all alike, all of us bound together by our shared apathy toward work. That very apathy has become a passion. The one great collective passion of our time.

Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that's very beautiful. But what would they nourish their intimate talk with? However contemptible the world may be, they still need it to be able to talk together.

No love can survive muteness.

Pain doesn't listen to reason, it has it's own reason, which is not reasonable.

He felt as if she no longer existed for him, had gone off somewhere, into some other life where, if he should meet her, he would no longer recognize her.

As you live out your desolation, you can be either unhappy or happy. Having that choice is what constitutes your freedom.

Since the insignificance of all things is our lot, we should not bear it as an afflication but learn to enjoy it.

She said: "I get scared when my eye blinks. Scared that during that second when my gaze is switched off, a snake or a rat or another man could slip into your place.

Kundera: u feel nostalgia even when other is present when u glimpse a future where the other person is no more.

98*******0: but that doesn't mean nostalgia mr kundera. As per oxford nostalgia is 'A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past. OR The condition of being homesick' Your glimpse can come anytime. The other person need not be sitting in front to get nostalgic like this.

Kundera: so wat is that makes u feel so.

98*******0: its when the other person has changed. Its when after a long time u go to the house of ur beloved who has got married to someone else. She brings a cup of tea. Her child follows. And then u remember the old shop where u had tea 10 yrs back. And feel a longingness for the old times. The person in front of u is same but personality different. I feel nostalgic about moon on seeing it. Its not as beautiful as it was when she kissed me first. Goodnight sir

She is back..

Assignment two is closed..

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

First Assignment... (Named... occurring as a chance)

Place: Does not matter
Date: 19/11
Time: 19:55

She has to go, after 2 days, he always feel anxious, rather apprehensive about this very probable event. It's like starting of a series of related events. She didn't call him on her way back to home... unlike everyday.

(He love the 7 pm .. it take 29:03 minutes to reach her home (mathematically proven).. She talks, he just hear her vice. Make him feel good, especially when he struggle to hear her voice from background noise..)

She was bit confused yesterday about the second him, or very much clear about second him that makes her even more confused. I suspected that it might happen but I was confident that she handle the situation... I am still confident. Yesterday... Yesterday she took 39:15 minutes to reach home.

Anyways.. he couldn't find what is making him uneasy, she is going, she didn't call even she is going or how'd she decide something, and if she, would that be right?? He don't know.. what he knows is that he is not afraid of loosing her, he already......

A sudden flash..

98*******0[19/11(20:03)]: First assignment,********
'A situation or state of mind when one can never sense what's needed when most needed'.



98*******0[20/11(00:43): 'A situation or state of mind when one can never sense what's needed when most needed'.

That's ANXIETY.

###########

You don't know what u want but u want something very badly.

Since young guys visit this blog more frequently, my example for the day comes from experience of a young guy.


98*******0[20/11(08:47)]: You simplify the sentence, I want you to write on which is not written but is in the sentence, you know the sense of something we've no words but can feel strongly. You know what I mean.. no?


98*******0[20/11(08:48)]: oh could not get it. I am in **** *****. Can't sense what I need. So will get bck in afternoon.


98*******0[20/11(12:19)]: Thought abt ur statement in *****. Its interesting idea. Will write really something shortly.
Challenging man!!!!!


98*******0[20/11(12:28)]: I too am eagerly waiting for.


She is going today.. she called.. she said.. she is happy.. she is confused or even more clear.. or she is sad..


98*******0[24/11(19:16)]:
Had I the heavens'
embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths
under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread
upon my dreams.

-WB Yeats



'A situation or state of mind when one can never sense what's needed when most needed'.


The 'First Assignment' is still incomplete...

Evolution

98*******0[15/11(02:10)]: Saw shawshank redemption. Nice movie. But you must read my writings on hope. one such was,

' I want to kill this hope and get what I desire.
But alas hope refuses to die.
To live on, it conspires so that I may not get the one I desire.
Its like my secret lover never jilting me.
I don't know hopes loves me more than I love you. But may the better lover win.'.

I hope u hv never seen HOPE in this perspective and more.


98*******0[15/11(08:51)]: Hope and lover.. Send me more of your writing on hope.
You're good.


98*******0[15/11(08:57)]: It reminds, somehow, Gulzar's ' Kya kare Zindagi, isko hum jo mile. Iski jaan kha gaye raat din ke gile..'


98*******0[15/11(09:33)]: 'Mere surviving is not enough', told the butterfly,
'you also need a small flower, little bit of sun shine and dream to live on'.


98*******0[15/11(12:01)]: Chaliye 'chhadam' naam se ek blog shuru karte hain..


98*******0[15/11(12:02)]: Haan tum banao. Main likhunga material tum batan aur manage karna. You see as ** I can't express my views on many things publicly. By advertising we can earn also something and donate it 'to the cause of p[rotecting ecology on the sixth moon of jupiter'.
Ha ha ha


98*******0[15/11(12:12): Haan! kal se hi shury karte hai.


98*******0[15/11(12:17)]: Kya tempo hai boss. ********* Theek hai. Kal banao. Kal hamesha khoobsurat hota hai.Saari pareshaniya to saali aaj mein hi hai. That was metaphorically comrade. I'm on blackberry so I am always connected. Just tell me once u start and all of us get started. Me and tichku. Ab puchhoge ki tichku kaun hai. Tichku maine apne brain ke thought process ka naam rakha hai..


98*******0[15/11(12:19)]: Little keys open big locks,
Simple words reflect great thoughts.
Your smile can cure heart blocks,
and if u ve to take panga make a blog.


98*******0[17/11(21:11)]: Hi how r u, hws the climate etc etc etc
bataobataobataobatao bhai kuch to batao. Where is the blog.


98*******0[17/11(22:29)]: BSNL sucks.. I'm fully loaded with thoughts.. 'Sutradhar" to 'Tichku'..


98*******0[17/11(22:32)]: Today its not tichku. My brain's thought process is very prolific. Every day it has a different name. Its like everytime my thought process logs into my brain it is assigned a different guest name or login ID. Today it's called Ama-mian. Soit will seem that everyday a new person has logged into your blog.


98*******0[17/11(22:47)]: Ye toh zabardast hai.. Now the effect is at its most acute.


98*******0[17/11(22:47)]: Yeh to asar abhi ganja piye hai. After that which acts as rocket fuel ama-mian brain ud jaata hai bas. Rocket aur tharak aadmi ko kahin bhi le jaa sakti hai. Rocket moon tak aur tharak honeymoon tak..




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